March 13, 2001
The Top 14 TopFive.com Happy Hour Rules
- Management reserves the right to beat senseless anyone suggesting we get a karaoke machine.
- No stirring someone else's drink with your buffalo wing bones.
- True happiness only. Satisfaction, beatitude, and gruntlement are not acceptable.
- Friday drink special: $2 "Sex Out Of Reach" shots
- Make sure your Secret Service henchmen hide your empties from Laura.
- Anyone who's not happy will be beaten with pool cues until they become happy.
- When falling off chair, do not block aisleways to jukebox or restroom.
- We welcome our NRA and Girl Scout drinking buddies!
- Strict 5-drink limit means somewhere around 12 to 15 drinks.
- Absolutely no Sally Struthers.
- Good bar trick: Tying a knot in a cherry stem using only your tongue. Bad bar trick: Unzipping your pants using only your tongue.
- Designated drivers drink free all night!
- Calculating the value of pi on your cocktail napkin beyond 32 decimal places won't leave room to write the phone number of the girl you're trying to impre-- Hey! Where'd she go?
and the Number 1 TopFive.com Happy Hour Rule...
- Confusing, hard to read signs on the restroom doors to be replaced with schematics of appropriate genitalia.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 124 submissions from 47 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 1 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
- Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD -- 2, 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 3 Email / Website
- Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 3
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 4, HM list name Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 4, Topic Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 5, 12, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 6, 9 Email
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 6
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- Robin Andrews, Greenville, SC -- 8
- Ann Bartow, Bartow, FL -- 10
- Joe DiPietro, Brooklyn, NY -- 11 Email / Website
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 13 Hall of Famer
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 14
- Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- Topic
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- HM list name Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- REM, Athens, GA -- Ambience (explanation)
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