March 13, 2002
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Warning: If you are among those who believe that God has
no sense of humor, you might want to stop reading here.
Just delete this e-mail, and have a nice day. Seriously.
Don't read it, then get all bent out of shape, okay?
Because I warned you! Don't forget: Thou Shalt Not Flame.
Okay, if you're still with us, you think that the God of your
choice invented beans and banana peels for a reason.
Either that, or you just like the idea of burning in hell.
This one is destined to ruffle some angel feathers...
and just WAIT until you see part II tomorrow.
The Top 15 Pick-Up Lines Used by God
(Part I)
- "Hey, baby. Temptation's down this way."
- "You don't know me, but you've been shouting my name for years."
- "Well, hello there!" [flips open cell phone] "Hey, Peter, are we missing an angel?"
- "Hey, baby. Buy you a planet?"
- "If I remember correctly, when I made you, I broke the mold."
- "Oh, for Christ's sake, you drink my blood every Sunday -- this ain't gonna kill ya!"
- "[*Psssst! Are you there, Margaret? It's me, God. I'm in your brain. See the guy to your left -- the one with the long beard? You should sleep with him.*]"
- "As a matter of fact, I *am* my gift to women!"
- "Number 11: Thou Shalt Quit Resisting My Advances and Hold Thy Foxy Young Self Against Me."
- "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this? Oh, right -- Eve... the apple... me kicking you people out of Eden. My bad."
- "I've got a plague of lovin' in my pants that I'd love to bring upon you."
- "I bet I can find your G-spot. In fact, I remember exactly where I put it."
- "My only son died years ago, so we've got my place all to ourselves."
- "I need your help with a philosophical question: Can I make someone so bootylicious that even I can't please them?"
and the Number 1 Pick-Up Line Used by God...
- "Uh, oh! Looks like someone's been eating from the Tree of Huge Knockers."
Join ClubTop5 to check out the runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 144 submissions from 54 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 1 (18th #1) Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY -- 2 Website
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 3, 12
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 4 Email
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 5, Honorable Mention list name Email
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 6 Hall of Famer
- Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 7 Email
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 7 Email
- Greg Preece, Toronto, Canada -- 8, 14
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 9, 14
- Colleen Tharme, Mount Clemens, MI -- 10
- Matt Moore, Fresno, CA -- 11 Email
- Andrea Crain, Madison, WI -- 13, 15 Website
- Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 14, Banner Tag Email / Website
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 14, RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 14 Email / Website
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 14 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 14
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 14 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 14 Email / Website
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- Topic Email
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Godsmack, Boston, MA -- Ambience (explanation)
|
