March 28, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list is a long one, and there were some
very funny submissions which ended up on the
Runners Up and Honorable Mention lists.
You can always see the submissions which didn't quite
made the main list -- just for the "Runners Up" link
directly under the number 1 entry of any list.
The Top 20 Signs Your Office is Haunted
- Well, *somebody* keeps stealing your Yoo-hoo out of the break room refrigerator.
- Every Casual Friday when Bob from Engineering breaks out the Hawaiian shirt, the Ghost of Good Taste can be heard wailing from behind the copier.
- Cat-hating poltergeists wipe the hard drive every time you add another Garfield magnet to your PC.
- No matter what you do, Windows 98 simply WILL NOT CRASH!
- You find yourself suddenly covered in slime, and there's nobody from Marketing anywhere nearby.
- You hear the blood-curdling groans of endless souls in hellish torment... no, wait, it's just a standard Monday morning.
- Craig T. Nelson has to tie a rope around your waist every time you go into the men's room.
- Never seems to be enough Green Vomit Cleanser in the supply closet.
- Every time you answer the red phone in your new office, it's Nixon wanting to talk to your Dad.
- The cubicle next to yours is suddenly swarming with hundreds of flies and... no, hold on -- it's just your dead-for-five-days co-worker.
- You make a fresh pot of coffee, turn your back for a second, and it's gone!
- You sell insurance for John Hancock -- and he attends most of the board meetings.
- One little puddle of ectoplasm shows up on the receptionist's chair and *you* get fired for sexual harassment.
- AIEEEEE! It's the Headless Tech Support Man!!!
- Odd noises, strange scents, suspicious looks -- and it's not burrito day in the cafeteria.
- Your scary Lon Chaney, Jr. screensaver mysteriously replaced by even scarier Dick Cheney/Junior screensaver.
- When you photocopy your ass, the ghostly image of another ass appears next to it.
- Every morning you walk past dozens of pale, bleary-eyed zombies wearing tattered clothes and typing line after line of code without blinking -- but they don't like Ho-Hos and Jolt Cola.
- You could have sworn you were fellating the President, yet he insists that he did not have sex with you.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Office is Haunted...
- There's blood everywhere and voices screaming "Get Out!", and you're not a dot-com business.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 160 submissions from 58 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 1, 4 (2nd #1) Email / Website
- Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 1, 17 (Woohoo! 1st #1!)
- Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 2, 6 Hall of Famer
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 3 Email / Website
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 4, 10 Email
- Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 4
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 4 Email / Hall of Famer
- Bob Van Voris, New York, NY -- 4
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 4
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 5, Topic Email / Hall of Famer
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 6 Email
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 8
- Pat Sajak, Los Angeles, CA -- 9 Website
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 10, 20 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 10
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 10 Website
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 11 Email / Website
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA -- 12
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 13
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 14 Email
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 15 Email
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 16 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA -- 17 Email / Hall of Famer
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 18, 20 Email
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 19 Email / Website
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- Banner Tag, HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator, RU list name Email
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Classics IV, Jacksonville, FL -- Ambience (explanation)
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