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TopFive.com
Simultaneously Published From the Grassy Knoll
March 29, 2001


The Top 15 Rejected Cocktail Names


    1. Harvey Ballbuster

    2. Gin & Colonic

    3. Slow Uncomfortable Spew

    4. Scabby Mary

    5. Sullen Masturbation on the Beach

    6. Wrung-Out Bar Rag on the Rocks with a Twist

    7. Bloody Navel

    8. Blatant Reference To Sexual Activity

    9. The Slutmaker

    10. Sloe Comfortable Screw Up Against a Wall in Cancun Next to a Fat Dude Named Ramon Who Keeps Flicking Matches at Some Kids Poking a Dead Rat With a Stick They Found Underneath a '57 T-bird with a Dead Prostitute in the Trunk

    11. Long Island Iced Pee

    12. Screaming Hangover

    13. Buttery Pimple

    14. Elian on the Beach

      and the Number 1 Rejected Cocktail Name...

    15. Sex With Your Wife

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!




Selected from 229 submissions from 82 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:


  • Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 1, 5 (2nd #1) Email
  • Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 2 Email
  • Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- 3, 5
  • Jaime McCarley, Houston, TX -- 4 Email
  • Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 5 Hall of Famer
  • Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 5
  • Dan Johnson, Champlin, MN -- 6
  • Perry Friedman, Monterey, CA -- 7, 15 Email / Website
  • Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 8 Email / Website
  • Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 9 Email / Website
  • John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 10 Email
  • Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 11
  • Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 11 Email
  • Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
  • Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 12
  • Julie Kozaczka Stahlhut, Kalamazoo, MI -- 13 Email / Website
  • Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- 14 Email / Website
  • Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- Topic Email
  • Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- Banner Tag Email / Hall of Famer
  • Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- Runner Up list name Website
  • Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Honorable Mention list name Email
  • Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
  • Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
  • Calvin Broadus, Long Beach, CA -- Ambience   (explanation)

Top5 Bomb

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