14. By sharpening his claws on the chair leg, he's carved a pretty good likeness of Joaquin Phoenix.

13. Recent hairballs include alarmingly large chunks of postman.

12. "I'm not Fluffy anymore; call me Muhammad al Fluf-Rahim."

11. Catches mice, only to keep them as pets.

10. Starts sending you parts of the dog through the mail.

9. Created a bunker in his litter box.

8. Stacks his hairballs into the shape of Devil's Tower, Wyoming.

7. Has bet it all on the Cubs winning the series this year.

6. That slight "off" smell before it hits the wok.

5. Can't stop purring "Helter Skelter."

4. Now kills mice by sending them through your wood chipper.

3. While cleaning the litter box, you find the bodies of several drifters.

2. Goes on long rants about how the country is really controlled by Jewish dogs.

   and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat Has "Mad Cat Disease"...

1. He just coughed up a brainball.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!