April 8, 2003
The Top 16 Poor Responses to the Question
"Does This Make Me Look Fat?"
- "Not to Stevie Wonder."
- "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."
- "Does this tie make me look stupid?"
- "No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"
- "I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat with an 'f' or phat with a 'ph.'"
- "No hablo ingles."
- "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out."
- "No, but taking it *off* sure does."
- "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."
- "Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
- "Not if you were travelling at the speed of light."
- "Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
- "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
- "No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."
- "Whoa! A talking couch!!"
and the Number 1 Poor Response to the Question "Does This Make Me Look Fat?"...
- "May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"
Selected from 143 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 1, 12, 13 (Hat Trick!) Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 2
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 2 Email / Website
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 3 Email
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 4 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC -- 5 Email
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 6 Email / Website
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 7
- Andy Krakowski, Alexandria, VA -- 8
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 9 Email
- Jim Key, Rowlett, TX -- 9
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 10, 15
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 11, 14
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
- Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 14
- Brandon Muller, Las Vegas, NV -- 16
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Topic
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Runner Up list name
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Tag Team, Atlanta, GA -- Ambience (explanation)
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