April 13, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
A couple of days ago, TopFive did a list of
"Signs the President is Not Ecology-Minded."
Of course, we received more than a few messages
from our conservative friends berating us for
publishing a list which would make fun of the man
who is the leader of this great nation of ours.
How thoughtless of us.
Let's see if we can make things right...
The Top 13 Signs the President *is* Ecology-Minded
- Wants to remove millions of barrels of oil from pristine Alaskan wildnerness before it can cause any harm there.
- Reduces the number of people exhaling CO2 by allowing more arsenic in drinking water.
- Has started a White House recycling program, though it's currently limited to previous administration cabinet members.
- Dick Cheney's new pacemaker powered by scalp-mounted solar panels.
- Seen "watering" White House lawn during recent barbecue.
- His policies have encouraged the homeless to be more diligent about picking up aluminum cans.
- He's burying Bill Clinton's legacy to fertilize the Rose Garden.
- Co-sponsored a California initiative to develop a photovoltaic electric chair.
- Conserves brain power by not thinkin' too hard about stuff.
- Dutifully eats any endangered animals his policies kill.
- He heartily endorses the composting and recycling of Senator Paul Wellstone (D-MN).
- He opposes the Drug Enforcement Administration's plan to destroy agricultural lands in Bolivia and Peru.
and the Number 1 Sign the President *is* Ecology-Minded...
- During staff meetings, he doodles on *both* sides of the paper before discarding.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 99 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 1, 5 (3rd #1) Email
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 3 Website
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 4 Hall of Famer
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 6
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 8, 11 Email
- Rex Meredith, Palm Springs, CA -- 9
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 10 Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 11, 13 Email / Hall of Famer
- Ann Bartow, Bartow, FL -- 11
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 11 Email / Website
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 11 Email / Website
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 12 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 12 Email / Website
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 13
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- List moderator, Topic, RU/HM names
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- R.E.M., Athens, GA -- Ambience (explanation)
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