April 16, 2001
The Top 14 Worst Things to Say at Your Trial
- "Wait! It's a little tight, but... Yes! The glove *does* fit!"
- "I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me Satan, Lord of Eternal Hellfire."
- "Don't worry, Your Honor -- it ain't loaded."
- "I request a change of venue to Virginia. No, wait, Texas."
- "I got your DNA right here, pal!"
- "Oh yeah? You and what jury?"
- "Is this gonna take long? 'Cause I really gotta run by the store and pick up some more formaldehyde."
- "Liar! You couldn't have seen me, I was wearing a mask!"
- "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Naw, I'm just joking. Bring that bible back up here."
- "You call these friggin' boneheads a jury of my peers?"
- "Rape and murder? Absolutely not, Your Honor. At least, not in that order."
- "Your Honor, with your permission, I'd like to play the race card now."
- "Who died and made you Mr. I-Decide-The-Law?"
and the Number 1 Worst Thing to Say at Your Trial...
- "Hey, who do I have to stab to get a glass of water around here?"
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Selected from 156 submissions from 58 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 1 (4th #1) Email
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 2 Email / Website
- Jesse Weiss, Dallas, TX -- 2 Website
- Curtis Matthews, Kennesaw, GA -- 3 Email
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 4 Email / Website
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 5 Email
- Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 6
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 6 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 8 Email
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 9 Email / Website
- Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 10
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 11
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 11
- Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 12
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 13, Honorable Mention lis Email
- Ann Bartow, Bartow, FL -- 14
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 14 Email
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- Topic Website
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- List moderator, Runner Up list name
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Pink Floyd, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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