13. "The capitalist American government has caused us such great distress with their lies and two-faced infidel behavior that our military is unable to locate my pants."

12. "Regarding our new French friends, I must admit that the Zionist dog, Jerry Lewis, is indeed the greatest comic genius of all times."

11. "As American satellite pictures will verify, Saddam was merely helping the sheep over the fence."

10. "The divine exhilaration of NASCAR radio broadcasts elevates the soul to such a plane of bliss and excitement that the almighty Allah himself boils with jealousy!"

9. "You, too, can make thousands of dollars each week by quitting your day job and becoming an Internet comedy writer."

8. "Horny housewives are waiting for you to call them NOW!"

7. "The ill-mannered Americans you see on the streets toppling our statues and bombing are actually students here on spring break. Shame on them!"

6. "This dark stain on my pants is from wetting myself with joy at how well the battle goes for us."

5. "This product is so incredibly rich and creamy, so delightfully flavorful, that it would be an American infidel lie to say that it is not butter!"

4. "All other cinema candies will bow or they will suffer a painful death when they look upon the crushing majesty of Red Vines!"

3. "Would you like any couscous with that?"

2. "Who, I ask you, is a swarthy dictator who is a sex machine to all the chicks? Saddam? Allah be praised, you are correct!"

   and the Number 1 Quote From the Iraqi Minister of Information...

1. "Our great leader Saddam stands strong and proudly defiant, repelling wave after wave of invading Western infidels, aided only by his infinite righteous might and his lovely wife Morgana al-Fa'irchild. Indeed, that is the ticket!

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