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Welcome race fans!
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April 29, 2003
The Top 15 Signs You're
Seeing the Wrong Shrink
(Part I)
- At the beginning of every session, he pantomimes "You... drive... me... crazy!"
- No matter what answer you give on your Rorschach test, he giggles and fondles his privates.
- He encourages you to "play-act" your rage -- in the bell tower with live ammo.
- She pooh-poohs the concept of a mother fixation while continuing to suckle you every visit.
- For every problem you bring up, his remedy is, "I sense that your naked body is crying to get out of those clothes."
- While taking notes, he asks whether you spell "loony" with a "y" or an "ie."
- She takes all her notes on an Etch-A-Sketch.
- "You know, Bob, sometimes suicide *is* a viable option."
- You tell him you're having trouble with issues from early childhood. He says he's wearing a diaper and needs a good spanking.
- Strokes his beard and muses, "Bipolar? Hmmm... so you're frigid with both men and women?"
- He bills each of your personalities separately.
- "Whoa! That's some nasty fantasy! Say that again, but this time speak up and look into the smoke detector."
- First thing every session, he insists you follow his "valuable therapeutic method" and swap underwear with him.
- "Oh, come ON. Lay off your mother already! The poor woman carried you in her BODY for nine months, you ungrateful whiner."
and the Number 1 Sign You're Seeing the Wrong Shrink...
- That's no cigar -- he's actually smoking a penis.
Selected from 113 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 1, 2 (26th #1) Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Carolyn Rosser, Washington, DC -- 3
- Chun Ho, Honolulu, HI -- 4
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 8, Banner Tag Email / Website
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 9 Email / Website
- Pat Sajak, Los Angeles, CA -- 10 Website
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 12
- Joseph Prisco, Ithaca, NY -- 13 Website
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 14
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 15 Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic Email
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Runner Up list name
- David Kass, Brooklyn, NY -- HM list name Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Dead Kennedys, San Francisco, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White.
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