April 30, 2003
The Top 15 Signs You're
Seeing the Wrong Shrink
(Part II)
- When you confide that you think you're Napoleon, he refuses to see you any more because *he's* Napoleon.
- "Ph.D.? No. But I *did* stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."
- When he does word association with you, he replies to every one of your answers by screaming, "WRONG!!"
- Makes you pay in advance when you confess to feeling suicidal.
- The sex therapy with multiple random partners sounded like a good idea, but Dr. Pimp seems to think you need an awful lot of it.
- She insists on classifying your out-of-control jealousy of Adrien Brody as "pianist envy."
- "Well of course you're afraid of flying! There's wind shear, pilots flying drunk and the obvious terrorist threat! And who works on those planes -- some lazy union guy? If you ask me, only a certifiable nut job would p
- HotShrinkBabe69: WhAt WuZ yOuR cReDiT cArD # aGaIn?
- Accuses you of having no respect for other people's rights or rules of our society. Which is, of course, why you killed your last shrink.
- Bills you by the sneeze.
- Swears that giving her weekly foot massages and pedicures will help you work through your claustrophobia.
- You're a Freudian/Jungian, and he's a Springer/Montel.
- No matter what your problem, he tries to comfort you by saying, "Hey, it could be worse -- you could be Corey Feldman."
- "Tell me about your mother. Is she hot? What's she wearing?"
and the Number 1 Sign You're Seeing the Wrong Shrink...
- When you mention your compulsive-shopping habit, he tries to sell you the Dr. Laura bobblehead doll on his desk.
Join ClubTop5 to check out Part I this list!
Selected from 113 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 1 (7th #1)
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 2 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 3 Email
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 4, 15
- Ann Bartow, Bartow, FL -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Wilkes-Barre, PA -- 6 Email
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 8
- Wayne Kierstead, Clackamas, OR -- 9
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 11 Email
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 13
- Whit Watson, West Hartford, CT -- 14
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic Email
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag Email / Hall of Famer
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Runner Up list name
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- Honorable Mention list name
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Knuckle Sandwich, Flemington, NJ -- Ambience (explanation)
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