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May 5, 2003
The Top 16 Things That Can Get
a Guy Banned From the Men's Union
- You catch yourself thinking, "You know, what this bed needs is a few more pillows."
- "What do you think: a Zima or a white zinfandel?"
- You rhapsodize about taking that chick with the great rack home from the bar for a long night of sweet cuddling and General Foods International Coffee.
- You not only know the difference between a puff pastry and a cream puff, but your choux paste swan took first place at the county fair.
- "Ewww, gross! Two women kissing!"
- "You know, take away the steroids and over-the-top sideshow atmosphere from pro wrestling and it's just like ballet!"
- Your new Martha Burke signature putter.
- Not only can you identify Sarah Hughes and Tara Lipinski, you can articulate the logic behind the "artistic impression" scores in figure skating.
- You turn down playoff tickets so you can watch Cher's farewell concert on TV.
- You complain that the "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" movie was not true to the book.
- Sure, it's the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl and you've had a lot to drink, but you can't resist commenting on how those uniforms would look a lot neater if only they'd been finished with an overedge chain rather than a two
- Your "Bridges of Madison County" lunch box.
- You not only sing show tunes at karaoke, you employ full choreography.
- You ask your barber to give you a "Richard Simmons."
- When the guys put you in charge of "entertainment" for the bachelor party in Vegas, you buy tickets to see Celine Dion.
and the Number 1 Thing That Can Get a Guy Banned From the Men's Union...
- "No oral sex for me tonight, honey -- I don't feel very fresh down there."
Selected from 96 submissions from 35 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 1, Banner Tag (11th #1) Email
- Andy Krakowski, Alexandria, VA -- 2, 9, 15 (Hat Trick!)
- Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- 3 Email / Website
- Cathie Walker, Victoria, BC, Canada -- 4 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 5, 10, HM list name Hall of Famer
- Dave Juurlink, Toronto, Canada -- 6
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 8 Hall of Famer
- Tom Stoudt, Fort Washington, PA -- 9
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 11
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- 12
- Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 13
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 14
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 15
- Chun Ho, Honolulu, HI -- 16
- William Angus, Bogota, NJ -- Topic
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Spencer Davis Group, Birmingham, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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