14. Razor-wire coils atop neighboring cubicle walls deter office banter.

13. Last time you got to use the season tickets was when the Royal Dancing Lipanzie Horses were in town.

12. Company car is a flaming red '88 Escort.

11. An exterminator shows up at your desk with orders to "Kill the vermin".

10. Dr. Kivorkian's phone number added to your speed dialing.

9. Your morning routine involves removing tacks from the pictures of your family.

8. Health Care? Two band aids, rusty razor and a bottle of Wild Turkey.

7. You keep hearing, "File it where the sun don't shine."

6. Someone keeps sending adoring fan mail to Pauly Shore from your e-mail account.

5. Reindeer games? Forget it.

4. Your assigned login ID is a violation of the Communications Decency Act.

3. Odd yellow froth on your capuccinos.

2. Three words: Chernobyl Sales Account.

   and the Number 1 Sign Your Co-Workers Don't Like You...

1. Nameplate replaced with one that says "Asswipe."

There are no runner up submissions for this list.