Home of the hot, gooey Velveeta smoothie.
May 7, 1999
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
You may remember that on Tuesday, Top5 did a list of
"Seminar Topics at the Scaled-Down NRA Convention."
As expected, I received hundreds of messages, mostly from angry gun
owners, and I ended up debating the issue with dozens of people.
I felt like General Custer (sans gun, of course).
Today's list was culled from those responses to the NRA list.
For a more detailed sampling of the responses, follow the link below the list.
The Top 16 Funniest Things We Received
in Response to Our "NRA Seminar" List
[Punctuation and spelling belong to the authors, not the editor.]
- I THINK THAT THOSES SAYINGS ARE PREVERTED.
- Yeah, I own a civilian AK. I own a civilian AR. And a buncha other toys.
- [1st message] it is not a "notion" you moron, it is called the "2nd Admendment to the Constitution".....enough said.
[2nd message] ok I feel stupid, I misspelled "amendment", DOH!
- Every opinion provokes an equal but opposite opinion, whether you want it to or not.
- Making fun of a pack of squealing girly-men's pwecious wittle guns is sure to attract dozens upon dozens of quasi-coherent Randyan rants and buffoonish threats to water the apparently parched "Tree of Liberty" with gallon's of one's blood.
- YOU HAVE ALREADY VIOLATED MY FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHT BY TELLING ME NOT TO WRITE AND NOW YOU WANT TO TAKE AWAY MY 2ND AMENDMENT RIGHTS AS WELL
- Didn't know you were a bunch of liberal pansies.
- Do the letters F.O. mean anything to you?
- There may not be a vast gobal conspirocy to ban guns, [...]
- I'm leaving your Top 5 list because I think you're a pinko bastard.
- Go f**k yourself you moron.
- Bite It. Stupid people who don't seem to rember if it wasn't for guns then ythis country would not be here today.
- Another point is that if I write a sentence of the form, "Because blah blah blah, X" You can't say that because of the exact nature of the blah, blah, blah, "not X", or Y was meant instead of X.
- If you aren't prepared to eat your neibor's cat, you aren't prepared.
- I do not condone anyone for their choices.
and the Number 1 Funniest Thing We Received in Response to Our "NRA Seminar" List...
- I tell you what buddy I own tons of guns and I kill poor little defensless animals and I happen to have a huge Pecker.
Read some of the "fan mail" we received regarding the NRA topic.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from over 300 submissions from over 300 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Kyle T. Painter -- 1 (1st #1! Woo-hoo!!)
- Dean Hickman -- 2
- Shane Greif -- 3
- Chris Marshall -- 4
- "Southern Pride" -- 5
- Brian Welch -- 6
- Karen Kirschner -- 7
- Brian Williams -- 8
- Hemicuda -- 9
- Robert Horel -- 10
- David Jones -- 11
- C. Lambert -- 12
- T.J. Strueber -- 13
- Damon Brogdon -- 14
- "Bogie" -- 15
- Judith Paul -- 16
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Banner Tag
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Honorable Mention list name
- Chris White, Houston, TX -- List owner/editor Email
- 10,000 Maniacs, London, England -- Ambience
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