The Top 12 Signs Your Co-Worker Sells Mary Kay Cosmetics

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Our name is: Slim Shady

May 13, 1999

~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Antone's. Eric Johnson. Shiner Bock.
If there's such a thing as Guitar Heaven, I caught a glimpse
of it last night. Let there be no doubt -- Austin rocks.

Today's guest moderator, Dennis Koho, is Top5's resident
political hack. Formerly the mayor of Keizer, Oregon, he has
been a Top5 contributor since 1994? 93? 06? For reasons he
can't fully explain, he dedicates this list to Pierre De Santis.
The Top 12 Signs Your Co-Worker Sells Mary Kay Cosmetics

Declares that she simply can't get along with her boyfriend because, "he's a winter."
Tells everyone he arrests, "You have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney, and you have what we call "combination skin".
Bumper sticker on her car: "I brake for cosmetics testing animals."
Munches on lipstick like it was a Milky Way bar.
Dennis Rodman personally implores her to "try to be more subtle."
Refers to Cindy Crawford as that "Revlon bitch."
Can't tell you why profits are down; CAN tell you why "Midnight Lace" perfume is perfect for that after-six board meeting.
Seems convinced that the "whore look" is the latest thing.
Demands that Kosovar Albanians be treated with dignity, respect and a moisturizing skin lotion of at least SPF 12.
Always pregnant by a teenage boy. (Oops! That's a sign your co-worker sells Mary Kay *LaTorneau* cosmetics.)
Always say, "God bless you," even after you tell her to go to hell.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Co-Worker Sells Mary Kay Cosmetics...
She's perkier than Katie Couric, wears more make-up than Tammy Faye Bakker, and chants "make the most of what you have" even when alone in the restroom.

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!

Selected from 92 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:

Ann Bartow, Dayton, OH -- 1 (6th #1)
Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 2 Email
Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3, 5, 10, Runner Up list (Hat Trick!) Email / Hall of Famer
Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 3
Fred Hesby, Portland, OR -- 4, 9 Email / Website
Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 6
Paul Paternoster, Los Altos, CA -- 7 Email / Hall of Famer
Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 8 Email
Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 11 Email
Brian Auten, Tecumseh, MI -- 12, Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
Eric Johnson, Austin, TX -- *Actual* Ambience
The Stylistics, Philadelphia, PA -- Ambience




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