May 17, 2000
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
As long as TopFive seems to be having a bit of luck
at putting words in the mouths of presidential hopefuls,
we had to at least give this one a shot...
The Top 13 Things We'd Like to Hear
George W. Bush Say in a Speech
- "And now, the top 5 things the 'W' can stand for...
Number 5: Wacky... Number 4..."
- "And, in conclusion, let me give a shout-out to my homies back in A-Town."
- "I'm also a uniter in the bedroom."
- "Twenty bucks a vote! Let Gore top THAT!"
- "Hey, some of my best friends are gays with gun permits."
- "Check out this list of funny hurricane names I came up with..."
- "If you want to hang out, you got to take her out."
- "I don't have to steal jokes from the Internet! I can be funny all on my own! Listen... Read my lips: BOOGER!"
- "I believe the key to the future is platitudes -- lots and lots of platitudes."
- "My new motto: A doofus with connections...
HEY! Who tampered with my notes?!?"
- "And I want the people to know that I'm a fast worker. Why, in the time it took to watch the 'Dukes of Hazzard' reunion movie, I was able to review 15 death row pleas for clemency."
- "...and the number four Muslim polka song title is..."
and the Number 1 Thing We'd Like to Hear George W. Bush Say in a Speech...
- "Am I qualified to run the most powerful nation in the world? No. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 102 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 1 (8th #1)
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 2
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 3
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 4 Email / Hall of Famer
- Joe DiPietro, Brooklyn, NY -- 5 Email / Website
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 6 Email / Website
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 7 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Jeff Rabinowitz, Denver, CO -- 8 Email
- JB Leibovitch, Oakland, CA -- 9 Email
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA -- 10
- Steven Bevier, Redwood City, CA -- 11
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 12
- Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 13 Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic, RU list name Email
- Ross Brown, Seattle, WA -- Banner Tag Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Bush, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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