May 31, 2001
The Top 13 Signs Satan is Your Gym Teacher
- Tells everyone to "hit the inferno" after class.
- Locker room smells strongly of brimstone.
- "Remember, be sure to hydrate with a nice warm glass of goat's blood before you begin running your laps."
- Three words: "Shirts and Skinned"
- The only game he knows has only one rule: First you push the rock up the hill, then you push the rock up the hill, then you push the rock up the hill...
- Mustache + field hockey stick = Average girls' gym teacher
Mustache + field hockey stick + horns = Satan
- Insists that you do chin-ups the right way -- with your eyelids.
- Dodgeball involves a V8 Ram Pickup.
- "Okay, Billy, I need *you* to pick two of your classmates to participate in the rope climb race. The loser dies."
- "Behold as I produce the dodgeballs from my own body..."
- He is completely red, has horns and a tail, and carries a pitchfork. Actually, these signs apply to any occupation.
- Week 1: Aerobics and Weight Training
Week 2: Flames and Poking
and the Number 1 Sign Satan is Your Gym Teacher...
- Sign above the gym door says, "Abandon all hope ye who enter here. (No street shoes.)"
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 161 submissions from 63 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Dan Johnson, Champlin, MN -- 1, 2 (3rd #1) Website
- Pat Sajak, Los Angeles, CA -- 3 Website
- Michael Sheinbaum, King of Prussia, PA -- 4 Email / Website
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 6
- Beth Kohl, Chicago, IL -- 6
- J. Hutter, San Francisco, CA -- 6
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 7, Honorable Mention list name Email
- Kristian Idol, Burbank, CA -- 8 Email / Website
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 9, Topic, Honorable Mention list name
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 9 Email / Website
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 10
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 11 Hall of Famer
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 12
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 12
- Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI -- 13 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- James Taylor, Boston, MA -- Ambience (explanation)
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