June 5, 2001
The Top 14 Signs You're Dead
- Goth chicks are diggin' your look.
- "Weekend at Bernie's" just isn't as funny as it used to be.
- Only necrophiliacs answer your personal ad.
- A federal agent is prying your gun from your cold hands.
- Last thing you remember is beaming down to that planet in your red security uniform.
- An announcer screams, "The Cubs win the World Series!"
- Haley Joel Osment has been following you all day saying, "I see... you."
- You're the rankest smelling thing in a Parisian cheese shop.
- You have a vague recollection of saying, "Watch this! I saw it on 'Jackass'!"
- Your entrepreneurial son opens you up as a bait shop.
- Overwhelming desire to feast on the flesh of the living. (Also a sign you may be Don King.)
- You're one of the *thin* Kennedys.
- Anna Nicole Smith is hugging, crying, and kissing you as never before.
and the Number 1 Sign You're Dead...
- Album sales up 35%!
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 165 submissions from 60 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 1 (31st #1) Email / Hall of Famer
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 1 (7th #1)
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 2 Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 3, 8
- Bob Van Voris, New York, NY -- 4
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 5, Runner Up list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 6
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 7
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 8 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Patrick Kachurek, Ann Arbor, MI -- 8
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 8
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 8
- Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 10 Email
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 11 Hall of Famer
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 12 Email
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 13
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 14 Email
- Craig Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- Topic Email / Website
- Jim Larsen, Springfield MO -- Banner tag
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- List moderator, HM name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Cake Like, New York, NY -- Ambience (explanation)
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