June 16, 2003
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
You might have heard that doily diva Martha Stewart
is in a bit of trouble, due to her having taken part in
some stock trading that the SEC claims was illegal.
Click here to learn more about Martha's plight!
What most people don't realize is that this isn't
the first time Martha's been in hot water...
The Top 15 Other Grave Mistakes
Martha Stewart Has Made
- Put out a plate of Girl Scout cookies at her 11th birthday party, then told everyone she'd spent all morning baking.
- Failed to have her people whack Cybill Shepherd before she could star in that terrible NBC biopic.
- Dressed a 7-Eleven hot dog with Grey Poupon and mango salsa.
- Didn't use the melon baller on her weaselly little stockbroker when she had the chance.
- Tarragon in bouillabaisse? ARE YOU *MAD*, WOMAN?!?
- On one occasion, in a momentary lapse, allowed her cold stare to rise to above 32 degrees.
- Dedicated an entire show to sphincter-tightening exercises.
- The Danvers Opening was expected, but then attempting to transform it into a Gunderam Attack was just suicide!
- Sent a congratulatory case of champagne to Sammy Sosa when he hit his 500th home run.
- Once disciplined staff with a white garotte after Labor Day.
- Forgot that it's red wine with illegal stock trading, white wine with accounting fraud.
- Giant floral centerpiece on her dining room table is made entirely of old, unpaid parking citations.
- Accidentally voted for Buchanan in '00.
- Spent many wasted years pining away for Richard Chamberlain.
and the Number 1 Other Grave Mistake Martha Stewart Has Made...
- Wore a camouflage dress to her high school prom.
Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.
Check out our Martha Stewart page, with Martha lists aplenty.
And don't forget to visit our satirical Web site,
SaveMarthaStewart.com!
Selected from 75 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 1 (25th #1) Email / Hall of Famer
- Brandon Muller, Las Vegas, NV -- 2
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 4 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 5 Email / Website
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 6 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Pat Sajak, Los Angeles, CA -- 7 Website
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 8, 11
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 9, 14 Email / Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 10 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 12 Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 13, Banner Tag Email
- Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 15
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- Topic Email
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Honorable Mention list name
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- Runner Up list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Beatles, Liverpool, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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