June 21, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
A recent contract agreement between Disney and the
Teamsters union says that the workers who portray
the famous Disney characters at Walt Disney World
now have the right to assigned individual undergarments,
which they can take home to clean themselves, rather
than having to rely on Disney launderers like before.
The Top 14 Health Complaints of Disney Workers
- Nobody ever walks those stupid Dalmatians.
- Dental plan only covers grotesquely oversized and badly gapped front teeth.
- Actresses playing Little Mermaid forced to have their nipples sanded off.
- Huey, Dewey and Leukemia.
- Goofy has a nasty habit of marking his territory near the Food Court.
- Hand rashes caused by the daily rubbing of Walt's frozen head.
- EuroDisney workers required to bathe at least once a month.
- HMO requires referral by primary care veterinarian.
- Repetitive "Small World" Syndrome.
- "My neck aches from holding my nose up, I'm a pathological liar, and I catch on fire every time Ms. Pinocchio and I have sex."
- It's a small wart, after all.
- Them kids is all covered in germs!
- The guy who tattoos the Disney ID on your forearm hasn't changed the needle in years.
and the Number 1 Health Complaint of Disney Workers...
- Supercalifragelisticexpihalitosis.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 156 submissions from 60 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 1 (3rd #1) Email / Website
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 2
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 3
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 4 Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 4 Email
- Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 5
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 6, 14 Email / Website
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 6, Honorable Mention list name Email / Website
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 6 Email
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 6 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Paul Lara, San Antonio, TX -- 6 Email
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 6
- Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 6
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 7 Email
- Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL -- 8 Email / Website
- Eric Lipton, Washington, DC -- 9
- Glenn Marcus, Washington, DC -- 9 Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 9 Email / Hall of Famer
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 9 Email
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 9 Email / Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 9
- Reid Kerr, Carthage, TX -- 9 Email / Website
- George T. MacMillan, Shillington, PA -- 9
- Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 10
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 11 Email / Website
- Ann Bartow, Bartow, FL -- 12
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 13 Website
- Naomi Rose, East Farmingdale, NY -- Banner tag
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- Runner Up list name Hall of Famer
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Subhumans, Cornwall, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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