16. Most Likely to, if Not "Succeed," at Least Experience a Slower Descent Into Pathetic, Miserable Failure

15. Most Likely to Still Be Living in His Mom's Basement Well Past the Age of 30

14. First to Run Out of Pierceable Body Parts

13. Most Likely to Use the Phrase "My baby's father..." on an Episode of "Judge Judy"

12. Most Likely to Succeed, With a Little Help from His Governor-of-Florida-Brother and the Supreme Court

11. Most Likely to Go Through Four Divorces and a Personal Bankruptcy Before Finding Peace and Happiness in First the Michigan Militia and Later the Church of Scientology

10. Most Likely Facing a Lifetime of Having to Pay for Sex

9. Most Likely to Clean Puke Off the Side of Her Friend's Car With Her Shirt at Jack in the Box at 4:00 in the Morning

8. Most Likely to Manage a Denny's and Live His Dreams Vicariously by Cursing at His 4 Year Old's T-Ball Coach

7. Biggest Purveyor of Machiavellian Clique-Based Adolescent Cruelty

6. Most Likely to Sever Tongue Licking the Inside of a Pringles Can

5. Most Likely to Have More Than One Cat Named Frodo

4. Most Likely to Lose a Lung in a Knife Fight at a Bar Over a "Friends" Trivia Question

3. Most Likely to Be Traded to "Bull" in C-Block for Three Cartons of Marlboros

2. Most Likely to Give a Cute Pet Name to His Riding Mower

   and the Number 1 More Realistic Senior Class Award Category...

1. Most Likely to Get Knocked Up While High on 'Shrooms With a Complete Stranger Behind the Port-o-San at a Phish Concert, Name the Kid "Harmony," and Open a Head Shop in Ft. Lauderdale Catering to Retired Dead-Heads

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