June 22, 2001
The Top 16 More Realistic Senior Class Award Categories
- Most Likely to, if Not "Succeed," at Least Experience a Slower Descent Into Pathetic, Miserable Failure
- Most Likely to Still Be Living in His Mom's Basement Well Past the Age of 30
- First to Run Out of Pierceable Body Parts
- Most Likely to Use the Phrase "My baby's father..." on an Episode of "Judge Judy"
- Most Likely to Succeed, With a Little Help from His Governor-of-Florida-Brother and the Supreme Court
- Most Likely to Go Through Four Divorces and a Personal Bankruptcy Before Finding Peace and Happiness in First the Michigan Militia and Later the Church of Scientology
- Most Likely Facing a Lifetime of Having to Pay for Sex
- Most Likely to Clean Puke Off the Side of Her Friend's Car With Her Shirt at Jack in the Box at 4:00 in the Morning
- Most Likely to Manage a Denny's and Live His Dreams Vicariously by Cursing at His 4 Year Old's T-Ball Coach
- Biggest Purveyor of Machiavellian Clique-Based Adolescent Cruelty
- Most Likely to Sever Tongue Licking the Inside of a Pringles Can
- Most Likely to Have More Than One Cat Named Frodo
- Most Likely to Lose a Lung in a Knife Fight at a Bar Over a "Friends" Trivia Question
- Most Likely to Be Traded to "Bull" in C-Block for Three Cartons of Marlboros
- Most Likely to Give a Cute Pet Name to His Riding Mower
and the Number 1 More Realistic Senior Class Award Category...
- Most Likely to Get Knocked Up While High on 'Shrooms With a Complete Stranger Behind the Port-o-San at a Phish Concert, Name the Kid "Harmony," and Open a Head Shop in Ft. Lauderdale Catering to Retired Dead-Heads
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 212 submissions from 77 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 1 (4th #1)
- Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 2
- Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 3
- John Mozena, Grosse Pointe Woods, MI -- 3
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 4 Email
- Blair Bostick, Alexandria, VA -- 5
- David Hyatt, New York, NY -- 6 Email / Website
- Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 7
- Bob Mader, Knoxville, TN -- 8, 15
- Bo Williams, Huntsville, AL -- 9
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 10 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Julie Kozaczka Stahlhut, Kalamazoo, MI -- 11, 15 Email / Website
- Eric Lipton, Washington, DC -- 12
- Dawson Rambo, Santa Rosa, CA -- 13
- Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- 14
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 15
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 15 Email / Hall of Famer
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 16
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- Topic Email
- John Lee Hooker, Clarksdale, MS -- Banner tag
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- HM list name Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Ramones, New York, NY -- Ambience (explanation)
|