June 26, 2002
The Top 13 Little-Known Rules of Beer Drinking
(Part I)
- The first rule about Beer Club is you do not talk about Beer Club.
- Before wringing spilled beer into your glass from a soaked shirt, make sure that your date is not still wearing it.
- Beer math: x(beer) + felony larceny - shirt = "COPS"
- The Barney Rule: Every sentence must start or end with a belch.
- Always offer to buy the first round if you want to impress the Bush girls.
- The optimum number of beers consumed is directly proportional to the ugliness of one's date divided by the distance to the bathroom.
- After a dozen beers, you must loudly declare your love for your drinking companion. Half a dozen if you're drinking Guinness.
- The beer-can wall in the dorm is NOT load-bearing.
- After one six-pack of anything, Old Milwaukee really *is* as good as it gets.
- Beer on whiskey, mighty risky; whiskey on beer, all is clear; beer on your shirt, take my word, friend: You're *so* not getting laid tonight.
- When departing for the restroom, don't use the word "lizard" in mixed company.
- If you drink a beer that has a fly in it, you are required by law to allow the fly to escape to freedom through your nose.
and the Number 1 Little-Known Rule of Beer Drinking...
- Never puke on something white after Labor Day.
Join ClubTop5 to check out the runner up submissions
for this list, as well as tomorrow's Part II.
Selected from 96 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 1 (7th #1)
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 2
- Pat Sajak, Los Angeles, CA -- 3 Website
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 4 Email
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 5, 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 6 Email / Hall of Famer
- Jeff Verdegan, Oak Park, IL -- 7 (Rookie!)
- Jesse Weiss, Dallas, TX -- 7 Website
- Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 9 Hall of Famer
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 10 Email
- Art Kinderbuch, Alexandria, VA -- 11
- Chris Urich, Herkimer, NY -- 12
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 13 Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Topic, Banner Tag Email
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- HM list name Hall of Famer
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Szeki Kurva, Budapest, Hungary -- Ambience (explanation)
|
