July 17, 2003
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list was compiled from submissions sent in
by you, our lovely and talented ClubTop5 members.
The Top 16 Things We Wish We Had Never Said
(Part I)
- "Those spike-heeled boots and that silk teddy accentuate your already stunning figure, Master Drill Sergeant, sir!!"
- "An Amway-selling Scientologist? How fascinating! Come right on in."
- "Falco! Dude, you gotta check out this Mozart record of my dad's! This guy rocks!"
- "It's an excellent script, Mr. Lucas. Audiences will love it. Especially the floppy-eared thing with the pseudo-rasta accent."
- "Dude, I dreamed I was at work naked, and you were there singing show tunes."
- "Another goth vampire wannabe? Bite me!"
- "Wouldn't like you when you're angry, Banner? I don't like you *now*, you little science dweeb! TITTIE TWISTER!"
- "Your leg feels like the soft underbelly of a pike."
- "What luck! I was afraid this audit was going to be for my *other* Social Security number!"
- "Fifty bucks says I can stick my penis through that electric fence without touching the sides."
- "Hey, for a laugh, let's trick those godless Americans into *thinking* we've got weapons of mass destruction when all we've really got are mountains of sand!"
- "Are you kidding? I'd LOVE a prairie dog for my birthday!"
- "Hey! Easy with the ruler, Mother Superior. That's my whackin' hand."
- "I'm not paying to have it dry-cleaned -- it's from the Gap, for God's sake! Just put a little club soda on it and it'll come right out, Monica."
- "Officer, would you like to hear my theory of the nightstick and how it compensates for undersized male genitalia?"
and the Number 1 Thing We Wish We Had Never Said...
- "Oh, right, like John Ashcroft has nothing better to do than listen in on a couple of potheads."
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Join today!
Selected from 891 submissions from 469 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Ryan McGeeney, Tampa, FL -- 1 (Woo-hoo!)
- Jessica Nutley, Norwalk, CT -- 2
- Eric R. Johnson, Toledo, OH -- 3
- Erik Gilreath, Jenison, MI -- 3
- Mark Funk, New York, NY -- 3
- B.A. Waddell, Ambridge, PA -- 3
- Moshe Lehmann, undisclosed location, NY -- 3
- Gordon Sherman, San Juan, Puerto Rico -- 4
- Wayne Jones, Toronto, Canada -- 5
- Jamie Tedeschi, East Schodack, NY -- 5
- Chris Kuan, Wollongong, Australia -- 6
- Brad Wilkerson, Mesa, AZ -- 7
- Corran Musk, Aberdeen, Scotland -- 7
- Walter Chappel, Silver Spring, MD -- 8
- Larry Gebhardt, Amherst, NH -- 9
- Paul Atkinson, Portland, OR -- 10
- Arthur Levesque, Laurel, MD -- 11
- Steve Huntington, San Jose, CA -- 12
- Bronwen Krimmel, Providence, RI -- 13
- Father James Gavrilos, Boca Raton, FL -- 13
- Gregg Archer, Johnsburg, IL -- 14
- Steve Stetler, Grand Rapids, MI -- 15
- Jason Bayne, San Antonio, TX -- 15
- Ron Nunnelee, Bartlett, TN -- 15
- Len Scaffidi, Greensboro, NC -- 15
- Bob Cradock, Madison, WI -- 15
- Mike Sawyer, Sioux City, IA -- 16
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag, RU/HM list namesEmail
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Ben Folds Five, Winston-Salem, NC -- Ambience (explanation)
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