16. "Gingrich... Gingrich... I'm sorry, sir, but you're not on the list."

15. "Very important, camera operators: only shoot him from the front. When his dad sticks his hand up Junior's back, it makes his suit wrinkle."

14. "What are all these women doing here? They act like they've won the right to vote or something."

13. "Man, this spotted owl is delicious. Compliments to the chef!"

12. "Governor Bush, it's time to put your Play-Doh away and speak to the nice people in the auditorium."

11. "Is that an oil company in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"

10. "And now, the winner of the GOP Most Valuable Player of the '90s Award... Linda Tripp!"

9. "Someone get that drink away from McCain before he brings up that 'campaign finance reform' crap again!"

8. "Sorry, sonny, but this table is for grown-ups only-- Oh! I'm sorry, Mr. Lazio!"

7. "Man, this is boring -- I'm heading over to Chuck E. Cheese's for the Reform Party convention."

6. "Well, at least when *our* guy asks for 'blow,' it doesn't involve an intern."

5. "Attention: We have another lost parent! Will Mr. and Mrs. Quayle please come to the Main Pavillion? Your son is here."

4. "Excuse me, but wasn't my registration packet supposed to contain a wad of NRA money...?"

3. "I thought they were waiters, too, but apparently they're a singing group called 'The Temptations'."

2. "Sure, I still believe in helping the poor, improving education and eliminating tax breaks for the rich -- I just really, *really* hate James Carville."

   and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Republican National Convention...

1. "Philadelphia is called 'The City of BROTHERLY Love'?!? Did those Log Cabin guys have a hand in this?"

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