August 3, 2000
The Top 16 Overlooked "Survivor" Survival Strategies
- Hide Richard's swimsuit; wait for teammates to puke to death.
- Zealously guard your secret for fermenting coconut milk.
- Join the Rat Tribe, lead an assault on the humans.
- Step one: Plant lots of poppies.
- Announce that if voted out, you immediately start humming "It's a Small World After All" or "Girl From Ipanema."
- Secretly replace your Tribal Council torch with wacky self-relighting torch from novelty shop.
- Legally change your name from Bob Smith to Zbiegniew Vladigmovski, then relax when it's time for everyone to write down their votes.
- Trade sexual favors to camera crew in exchange for their pizza crusts.
- 1) React with convincing dismay when waking up to find your rivals' decapitated corpses; 2) Spend the rest of your stay searching for the "real headhunters."
- Employ the tried-and-true "Fart and Point at Someone Else" strategy.
- Create dissension by encouraging one group to sing "...the professor and Mary Ann" and the other group to sing "...and the rest."
- One angst-filled glance to camera while pathetically nibbling on a rat filet = one care package from PETA.
- Gain popularity with the ladies by flaunting your nude fly-fishing technique.
- Slip Richard extra rat portions to fatten him up. Around the others, begin referring to him as "the other white meat."
- Daily lattes from the island's newly opened Starbucks.
and the Number 1 Overlooked "Survivor" Survival Strategy...
- Begin nightly telling of your story about a group of people thrown together in the public spotlight and a bitter psycho loser who hunts them down and tortures them years later.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 106 submissions from 40 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Ed Smith, Chattanooga, TN -- 1 (20th #1) Hall of Famer
- Rob Wolf, Seattle, WA -- 2 Email
- Chris Irby, Dallas, TX -- 3, 6
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 3
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 4 Email
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 5, Runner Up list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA -- 7
- Pam Pickard, North Canton, OH -- 7
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 8, 10 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 9 Email / Hall of Famer
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 9
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 11 Email / Website
- Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 11
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 12, Honorable Mention list name Email
- Jay Allen, San Francisco, CA -- 12 Email / Website
- Mark Schmidt, Paris, France -- 13 Email
- Mitch Patterson, Atlanta, GA -- 14 Email / Website
- Beth Gaynor, Columbus, OH -- 15 Email / Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 16
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Topic Email
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- Banner Tag Email
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- XTC, Swindon, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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