17. "Thanks, Mr. President, but I've already met the delegate from the great state of your pants."

16. "No, no -- our *good* billionaires give millions out of pure unselfish patriotism! It's their *evil* billionaires who are trying to buy the government!"

15. "As distinguished senior senator from the great state of Massachusetts, I hereby nominate the junior delegate from Vermont to go fetch a pitcher of margaritas."

14. "Come quick! Jesse's gonna try rhyming 'Lieberman!'"

13. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Clinton. I know L.A. is much warmer than New York, but it's too late to re-invent yourself as a half-Mexican Dodger fan."

12. "This really *is* the party of diversity -- check out the Klingon delegates!"

11. "Mr. Bush's record is inconsequential He lacks any credential for executive potential It's an illusion when he appears presidential Which makes the election of Al Gore essential!"
    "Thank you, Mr. Beatty."

10. "Given the 'lack of personality' factor, do you think we can digitally add a bong in his hand somewhere in the 'Years in Viet Nam' clip?"

9. "Come on, Karenna. Oh, yes! Who's your President? Who's your President?"

8. "We, the representatives of the great state of Mississippi, are proud to nominate the tall fella, second on the left, and his little Jew friend there."

7. "You can't swing a cat in here without hitting a Kennedy -- not that the PETA delegates would let you do it anyway."

6. "Are you feeling OK, Mr. Carter? You're sure? No numbness or tingling? You're positive?"

5. "Mr. Chairman, the Great State of Tennessee, birthplace of the Internet, first in lackluster personalities, an innovative leader for fundraising with Buddhist monks, and friendlier to Jews than we used to be, nominates its favorite son... Al Gore!"

4. "Ms. Streisand says your time's up. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave the stage now, Mr. Gore."

3. "Well, one night Tipper and I were discussing Disney movies in Hell, and these are some of the examples we came up with..."

2. "Follow me to the ladies' room and hurry -- Hillary's doing her 'pee standing up' trick!"

   and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Democratic National Convention...

1. "Who's this Al Gore guy everyone keeps talking about?"

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