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Includes an impact-resistant carrying case.
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September 8, 2003
The Top 15 Macho Ways to Express a Break-up
- She opened up a can of industrial strength whoop-heart.
- She keyed the hood on my Corvette of love.
- She roadkilled my heart on the grille-work of disdain.
- Even my dual-range Sawzall 6527-21 couldn't cut through her carbon-steel heart.
- When her personality had its last tune-up, whoever did it set her carburetor's bitch mixture waaaaay too rich.
- I gave her three sets of 10 reps of affection curls. She gave me squat.
- I tapped her love keg and just got foam.
- Allegations that we were together for life were apparently "sexed up" by the British Defense Secretary.
- The rust of rejection finally overcame the duct tape of desire.
- She fried up a sizzlin' slab o' "see ya later."
- I thought I'd retained possession of her love, but upon further review that call was overturned.
- I've relocated from Hummerville to Bummertown.
- She got me a front-row ticket to WWF Dumpamania: Emotional Smackdown.
- Our love car Earnhardted.
and the Number 1 Macho Way to Express a Break-up...
- She called me off the mound and brought in the battery-powered reliever.
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Selected from 104 submissions from 39 contributors.
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- Fred Hesby, Portland, OR -- 1 (8th #1) Email / Website
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 2 Email
- Dave Juurlink, Toronto, Canada -- 3
- Anne Sholl, Trenton, NJ -- 4
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- 5, 9, 15, Topic (Hat Trick!)
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 6, HM list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 7, Runner Up list name
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 8 Email
- Chun Ho, Honolulu, HI -- 10
- Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 11
- Kim Walker-Daniels, Sun Prairie, WI -- 12
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 13
- Dave Goudsward, Lake Worth, FL -- 14 Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag Email
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Tool, Los Angeles, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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