Only 108 weapons-stockpiling days until Y2K!
September 15, 1999
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Today's list is a Top5 Classic,
originally published on November 8, 1996.
The Top 16 Signs Your Cat is Overweight
- Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.
- Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.
- Always lands on her spleen.
- Fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches.
- Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.
- No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.
- Anna Nicole Smith fits through your kitty door without the aid of lubricants.
- Catfood dish replaced with Rush Limbaugh trough.
- Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pants suit.
- It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.
- "Steals breath" from all five quintuplets, simultaneously.
- Larry King keeps trying to kiss it full on the lips.
- Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.
- He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.
- Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.
and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Overweight...
- Has more chins than lives.
There are no Runners Up submissions for this list.
Selected from 117 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 1, 2, 16 (2nd #1)
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- 2, 16 Email
- Greg Sadosuk, Fairfax, VA -- 2, 15
- Paul Paternoster, Redwood City, CA -- 3, Topic Email
- Lee Oeth, San Diego, CA -- 3 Email
- David W. James, Los Angeles, CA -- 4 Email
- Craig Stacey, St. Paul, MN -- 5 Email / Website
- Jeffrey House, Detroit, MI -- 6 Email / Website
- Caroline Gennity, Virginia Beach, VA -- 7, 15 Email
- Blair Bostick, Alexandria, VA -- 8
- Matt Alford, Salem, OR -- 9
- Sterling Smith, Houston, TX -- 10 Email
- John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 11 Email
- Tisha Stacey, St. Paul, MN -- 12 Email
- Dee Anne Phillips, Shreveport, LA -- 13 Email / Website
- Matt Diamond, Holland, PA -- 13
- George Olson, Colorado Springs, CO -- 14 Email
- R.M. Weiner, Brighton MA -- 15 Email
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 16 Email
- Chris White, NY, NY -- Listmeister Email
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