13. Is able to spend your money before you've even earned it!

12. Her new bill is co-sponsored by Thomas Jefferson and Sonny Bono.

11. Sees a mysterious budget surplus that no one else can see.

10. "Read my mind: no new taxes!"

9. His red phone connects directly to Miss Cleo and Dionne Warwick.

8. Despite the privileges of public office, he feels my pain.

7. The table he's sitting at begins to rise, and there's not even an intern in the room.

6. Starts demanding a recount in September.

5. Forget spoons -- he can bend campaign finance laws!

4. Able to finish a "conference" with his intern mere seconds before his wife gets home.

3. Communicates with Strom Thurmond from beyond the grave.

2. His balanced budget plan is based entirely on winning the next 39 lotteries.

   and the Number 1 Sign a Politician Has Psychic Powers...

1. "Tipper! Tipper, wake up! Oh, it was awful! I had a nightmare that a giant butterfly was eating me!"

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