15. You're unable to find a weak point in your opponent's "I'm Rubber, You're Glue" defense.

14. So far, all 6 of your rebuttals have consisted solely of: "Ummm... good point."

13. The note your campaign manager just handed you is his letter of resignation.

12. You stubbed your toe on the podium, and now Tipper wants to put warning labels on you.

11. Every time you're about to make a devastating rebuttal, the Vice-President distracts you by jingling those shiny, shiny car keys of his.

10. At the end, your wife French kisses your opponent.

9. Your strategy of demanding that your opponent "talk to the hand" doesn't work nearly as well as it did on Jerry Springer.

8. You spot Dan Quayle and Admiral Stockdale pointing and laughing from the third row.

7. You spent so much time studying the issues that you forgot to prepare for the evening gown competition.

6. Question for your opponent: "What's your favorite color?" Question for you: "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?"

5. Your opponent keeps taunting: "Shut up and chug, wuss!"

4. Don King informs you that your debate opponent has refused to take a dive.

3. Halfway through the event, your campaign manager walks onstage and sticks a fork in you.

2. The camera catches you flipping the teleprompter to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" during your opponent's rebuttal.

   and the Number 1 Sign Your Debate is Not Going Well...

1. Your plan to gain confidence by picturing the audience in their underwear goes horribly awry when Strom Thurmond arrives.

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