October 12, 2000
The Top 12 Signs Someone Exaggerates
Their Political Accomplishments
- You're pretty sure your opponent isn't old enough to have freed the slaves.
- Claims to be the governor of the "greatest state in the union," but is actually the governor of Texas.
- Has more expertise in extra-marital affairs than foreign ones.
- In addition to claiming he invented the Internet, also says that skanky intern totally hit on him first.
- You're pretty sure no one named "Darva" signed the Constitution.
- He claims that the thick smog in Houston is an important, edible source of vitamins and minerals.
- He's received the personal endorsement of Tommy Flanagan -- yeah, that's the ticket -- and Tommy's wife, Morgan Fairchild, too!
- After an expose by CNN, he's backtracking a little on his claim to have single-handedly conquered the slime-thralls of Europa and driven their tentacled masters back to Arcturas.
- Adds extra syllables to make accomplishments seem more impressimitative.
- He claims he never touched alcohol during his entire term as Australian Prime Minister.
- This many eyes haven't simultaneously rolled in disbelief since Madonna released "Like a Virgin."
and the Number 1 Someone Exaggerates Their Political Accomplishments...
- "...and on the seventh day I rested."
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 100 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- 1 (15th #1) Email
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 2, 5 Email
- Peter Casper, Brisbane, Australia -- 3
- Curt Cutting, Santa Monica, CA -- 4, 11
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 5 Email
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 6
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Eric Lipton, Washington, DC -- 8
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 9 Email
- Rachel Blubaugh, Lewisville, TX -- 10 Email / Website
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 12
- Pat McCarley, Missouri City, TX -- Topic
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner tag Email
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Honorable Mention list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Jeffrey Anbinder, New York, NY -- List moderator
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner Email / Hall of Famer
- Billy Bragg, Barking, Essex, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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