10. Asks every caller, "Do you know how long it's been since I've had a date?"

9. Attempts a mind meld with your Pentium chip.

8. Insists you stay on the phone until you've gone through all five stages of grief.

7. The answer to every question begins with the phrase, "Technology is like a box of chocolates..."

6. Tells you to perform a "quick uninstall" by waving a big magnet over your hard disk.

5. Regardless of the question, says you "must find the magic emerald to kill the ogre and get to the next level."

4. Antivirus program consists of chicken soup and plenty of rest.

3. In response to every question, instructs you to "please disrobe prior to the examination."

2. Takes credit for the Millennium Bug.

   and the Number 1 Sign the Tech Support Person Has Gone Completely Nuts...

1. By following the laughter-stifled directions on installing RAM, you end up doing a perfect Macarena.

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