15. "My eggs? Over easy -- just like you."

14. "Wow! You look just like Ernest Borgnine, even in that dress!"

13. "And you are...?"

12. "Sorry, but I should probably get home before I sober up."

11. "Thanks, I had a great time. Can you just send me the bill for your replacement prosthetic?"

10. "Have you ever considered responding to one of those, um, 'male enlargement' ads?"

9. "Could I get you to sign this diary for my parole officer?"

8. "Is there any chance you could drop me off at the methadone clinic on your way back into town?"

7. "You look a lot, um, less sexy without the burqua."

6. "Remember last night when I said that I run TopFive? Well, I lied -- I'm just a contributor."

5. "For breakfast, I usually have some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

4. "Before you leave, would you like to see some sexually arousing video of me and a monkey?"

3. "Look over there at that houseplant and wave... you're on candid-slutcam.com!"

2. "We're like two ships that just use each other to dump bilge in the night."

   and the Number 1 Worst Thing to Say to a One-Night Stand the Next Morning...

1. "Hand me my penis, will ya?"

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