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Humor on second mortgage from God!
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October 24, 2003
The Top 13 Quotes From Animal Romance Novels
(Part I)
- It had been tough growing up in the spotlight, alone, separated from her by the jail house bars of a system that didn't understand their love. But someday they would be together again, and he would wait, counting the days until she was released. After all, it was Mary who had turned him from a little lamb into a young ram.
- His nose was cold. Colder than any nose that dared sniff her before. She backed further into his muzzle.
- The muscular ram grabbed her by the wooly tuft on the back of her neck and with a sinful gleam in his eye said, "You've been a very baa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aad girl."
- His torrid affair with the donkey left him smelling like ass.
- His every pant brought forth a musky scent, and he growled low in his throat and said, "Moan like a human, bitch!"
- My master crossed his legs provocatively, dangling one taut lean calf over his knee. As his leg bobbed rhythmically, his cuff climbed higher, revealing-- Hey! A squirrel!
- Squeezing his octopus companion tightly with his tentacles, Oliver felt shame as he prematurely released his ink.
- Polly's new man was like all the others. He never seemed to ask what she really wanted, choosing instead to insistently repeat his offer of a cracker.
- Timmy and Sally rested for several seconds, then began anew. Then rested again. Followed by more loving. A brief nap. Once again with the coitus. The bunnies simply could not help themselves.
- In all of the streams in all of the mountains in all of the northwest, she had to come swimming into mine. Not really a surprise, I suppose. We all *had* to swim into this particular stream... or die trying.
- He didn't need the love of a female. He didn't need a male, either, for that matter. He was a worm. He had it all.
- "Hold me closer," the gorgeous white kitten purred. "Closer, closer... now leave me alone! Don't look at me -- I'll go over here. Okay, now hold me closer again...."
and the Number 1 Quote From an Animal Romance Novel...
- "Your bulging green eyes, your powerful jaws -- I think I'm losing my head over you, darling."
"You have no idea how right you are, loverboy."
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Selected from 94 submissions from 36 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 1 (17th #1)
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 2 Website
- Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 3
- David Kass, Queens, NY -- 4 Hall of Famer
- Jesse Weiss, Austin, TX -- 5 Website
- Donald Junter, New Haven, CT -- 6, HM list name
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 7 Hall of Famer
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 8, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 9
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 9
- Andy Krakowski, Alexandria, VA -- 10, 11
- Wayne Kierstead, Clackamas, OR -- 12
- Brad Simanek, Cedar Rapids, IA -- 13
- Spike Jones, Atlanta, GA -- Topic
- Carl Knorr, Devo City, OH -- Banner Tag
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Blow Monkeys, London, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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