October 25, 2000
The Top 15 Least Useful Skills for Impressing Women
- Being governor of Texas and/or inventor of the Internet.
- Trouser snake puppetry.
- Flawless execution of 2-wheel turns on the riding mower.
- Can detect numerous ways in which you and your mother are exactly alike.
- Third runner-up, your fraternity's "Couch Potato" competition, with a time of 12.5 days.
- Ability to speak Klingon with a Vulcan accent.
- Making 12 pairs of Jockeys last 29 days.
- Winning the "Tri-County Fastest Climax" award.
- Reproducing in whole or in part a Mets game without prior express written permission from Major League Baseball.
- Bragging about defenseless animals you have tortured or killed. Oh, except crows. I am SO gonna marry the guy who can once and for all get rid of the garbage-can-knocking-over, West-Nile-virus-carrying, caw-at-6AM bastards that hang out in my yard.
- Snot rocket temporary wallpaper paste.
- Making a leech drink 'til it splodes!
- Chord-belching.
- Rectal gas fire starting.
and the Number 1 Least Useful Skill for Impressing Women...
- Slicing bread with your big toenail.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 143 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Chris Gleason, Gaithersburg, MD -- 1 (3rd #1)
- Sam Evans, Charleston, SC -- 2, 5 Email / Hall of Famer
- Steve Hurd, Oakland, CA -- 3 Hall of Famer
- Matt Siske, Dayton, OH -- 4
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 6 Email / Website
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 7 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 8
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 9 Website
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 10 Email
- Larry Baum, Hong Kong -- 11 Email
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 12 Email
- Larry Hollister, Concord, CA -- 13 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Chuck Smith, Woodbridge, VA -- 14 Email / Hall of Famer
- Kevin Wickart, Normal, IL -- 15 Email / Website
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- Topic
- Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA -- Banner Tag
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- List moderator, RU/HM list names
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner Email / Hall of Famer
- TLC, Atlanta, GA -- Ambience (explanation)
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