October 31, 2000
The Top 13 Dumbest Halloween "Tricks"
- Pretending to be in a coma to see how long it takes your young gold-digging wife to pull the plug on you.
- Soaping your neighbor's Windows 98.
- Thoroughly washing and waxing your neighbor's car, then praying for rain.
- Tipping cows more than 15%.
- Putting aluminum foil orthodontic braces on the uneven teeth of neighborhood jack-o-lanterns.
- Promising the same trillion dollars to the youngest AND the oldest voters.
- Rotating the planters on your neighbor's porch so their perennials no longer receive proper Southern exposure.
- Dressing up like "Richard" from "Survivor" *seemed* like a great costume idea, but the cops just think you're a naked, tubby guy offering trick-or-treaters "nutty logs."
- Standing outside your neighbor's house and sending them a blank email from your Palm Pilot, then running away before they can read it.
- Pumpkin-pleasin'
- Playing "Pin the tail on the hemophiliac."
- Personally verifying that each trick-or-treater's costume is sufficiently flame-retardant.
and the Number 1 Dumbest Halloween "Trick"...
- Crank-calling a lone teenaged girl at her house, and asking in a gravely voice, "Do you like light-hearted romantic movies?"
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 104 submissions from 39 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 1 (9th #1)
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 2 Email
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 3
- Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 4 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 5 Hall of Famer
- Brad Osberg, Calgary, Canada -- 6
- Andy Ihnatko, Boston, MA -- 7
- Ken Shinodo, Bend, OR -- 8
- Ann Bartow, Bartow, FL -- 9
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 10
- Tisha Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- 10 Email
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 11 Email
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 12
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 13 Email / Website
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- Topic Website
- Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA -- Banner Tag
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Honorable Mention list name Email
- Ann Rosenfeld, Austin, TX -- List moderator
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Leon Russell, Lawton, OK -- Ambience (explanation)
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