November 1, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani was recently
knighted by Queen Elizabeth in recognition of
his handling of the World Trade Center tragedy.
The Top 15 Changes in New York
Since Mayor Giuliani Was Knighted
- "Blow it out your ass, *sir.*"
- "Spotted Dick" is no longer just a movie being shown in a Times Square porno theater.
- Two words: cab jousting!
- Can't shake the feeling that he's being stalked by Elton John.
- Rudy mentions his "annus horribilis" and no one checks the seat of his pants.
- Drink sizes in NY area Starbucks are now Tall, Grande, and Holy Grail.
- Subway turnstile jumpers: doused with molten lead. Jaywalkers: summarily beheaded.
- Mets now royally suck.
- Gangs must now apply for and wear appropriate coats of arms.
- Mafia takes care to add a "u" to "Labour Dispute."
- He wasn't cheating on his wife, he was exercising his "droit de seigneur."
- Rudy now expects more than just his girlfriend to kneel before him.
- A tiara provides better coverage than a comb-over.
- Tourists flock to Central Park to witness the ceremonial Changing of the Bums.
and the Number 1 Change in New York Since Mayor Giuliani Was Knighted...
- Instead of merely sidestepping criticism, he can now move two spaces in any direction and one space over away from criticism.
Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 101 submissions from 37 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 1 (30th #1) Hall of Famer
- Ashley Deckard, Houston, TX -- 2 Email
- Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI -- 3 Email
- Mark Weiss, Austin, TX -- 4
- Allen Lindsey, Cincinnati, OH -- 5
- Craig Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- 6, 8, Banner Tag Email / Website
- Jody LaFerriere, Leominster, MA -- 7 Website
- Jason Anderson, Birmingham, AL -- 9 Email
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 9, 11
- Mark Schmidt, Paris, France -- 10 Email
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 12
- Fran Fruit, Winnetka, IL -- 13
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 13 Email / Hall of Famer
- Danny Gallagher, Austin, TX -- 14 Email
- Peter Rogers, Austin, TX -- 15
- Caroline Brown, London, UK -- Topic
- Ross Brown, Seattle, WA -- Topic Email
- Julie Kozaczka Stahlhut, Kalamazoo, MI -- Topic Email / Website
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name Email
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- List moderator, HM list name Email / Website
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Moody Blues, Birmingham, England -- Ambience (explanation)
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