November 2, 2000
The Top 12 Signs a Candidate
Desperately Wants Your Vote
- Not only appears naked in your shower with the words "Vote For Me!" painted on his chest every morning, he keeps hogging the water.
- A winking well-dressed Congressman drops off a note saying that your driving record has been "taken care of."
- "My, that's an attractive outfit you're wearing today, Mrs. Undecided Voter!"
- "I've got twin daughters, if you know what I mean."
- Campaign signs you see on your way to work: "Vote for me, Tod Linger!" Your name? Tod Linger.
- He French kisses the baby.
- "Okay, the laundry is done, your car has been detailed and the toilet is finally unclogged. Are you ready for your Swedish massage now?"
- Every stoplight, there he is with a squeegee.
- "Dude! I scored some killer weed... meet me Tuesday in the middle school gymnasium... Tuesday. Middle School. In the gymnasium. Seriously. Dude? Dude?"
- Not only guarantees a tax cut for every household, also guarantees that "Star Wars Episode II" will not suck as badly as "Star Wars Episode I."
- This election year, that "giant sucking sound" is coming from under your desk.
and the Number 1 Sign a Candidate Desperately Wants Your Vote...
- He delays your execution until November 8th.
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 105 submissions from 41 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Mark Schmidt, Paris, France -- 1 (13th #1) Email
- Kathy Good, Phoenix, AZ -- 1 (3rd #1)
- John Treusch, Burlington, NJ -- 2 Email
- Dave Goudsward, Harrisburg, PA -- 3 Email
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 4 Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 5, RU list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 6 Email / Website
- Carla Brandon, San Diego, CA -- 7 Email
- John Gephart IV, Harrisburg, PA -- 8, 11 Email / Website
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 9 Website
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- 10 Hall of Famer
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 12 Email / Hall of Famer
- Doug Johnson, Santa Cruz, CA -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
- Jim Griffith, Sunnyvale, CA -- Banner Tag
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Honorable Mention list name Email
- Kevin Hawley, Fairless Hills, PA -- List moderator
- Chris White, Irvine, CA -- List owner Email / Hall of Famer
- Blind Joe Death, Cecil County, MD -- Ambience (explanation)
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