Who's your daddy?
November 16, 1999
The Top 14 Ways the New James Bond Movie is More PC
- "Bond Girls" henceforth to be referred to as "Bond Womyn."
- Evil mountain lair may not be destroyed without first conducting environmental impact study on implications to surrounding evil henchmen breeding grounds.
- Jaws' mouth now made from 100% recycled aluminum!
- Bond to have brief but meaningful tryst with male CIA operative, sensitively portrayed by Kevin Spacey.
- Then: "License to Kill"
Now: "License to Cause Respiratory Distress"
- Aston-Martin to be replaced by GM's all electric EV-2.
- Opening credits now feature artistic nude silhouettes of John Goodman.
- Some of the minority characters, though minor, are actually *sane*.
- "Octopussy" now referred to as "Woman With 8 Cats."
- New nemesis: "Dr. No-Means-No!"
- New theme song: "The Spy Who Had a Lot of Respect for Me"
- Old Bond: Publicly humiliated arch-nemesis by out-drinking and out-gambling him in front of his girl. New, PC Bond: Publicly humiliates arch-nemesis by vomiting on his shoes and making tearful phone call to his AA mentor.
- Evil villains now referred to as "persons of alternative goodness."
and the Number 1 Way the New James Bond Movie is More PC...
- Replacing Pierce Brosnan as the new Bond -- Queen Latifah!
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 140 submissions from 52 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Craig Stacey, Romeoville, IL -- 1 (8th #1) Website
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2, HM list name Email / Hall of Famer
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 3 Email
- Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI -- 4 Email
- Blair Bostick, Alexandria, VA -- 5
- Mark Niebuhr, Minneapolis, MN -- 5
- Scott Sistek, Seattle, WA -- 6, 12 Email
- Ann Bartow, Dayton, OH -- 7
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 8 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Ann Rosenfeld, Austin, TX -- 9
- Kevin Freels, Burbank, CA -- 10 Email / Website
- Andrew Thomas, Omaha, NE -- 11
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- 11 Email / Hall of Famer
- Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 13 Email / Hall of Famer
- Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 14 Email / Website
- Peter Rogers, Boston, MA -- Topic
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Banner Tag Email
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Runner Up list name Email
- Alan Smithee, Sugar Land, TX -- Banner tag
- Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA -- List moderator
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Garbage, New York, NY -- Ambience
|
