14. If the winner ain't Gore,
    you must count some more.

13. 'Cause they pushed the wrong hole in,
    their votes have been stolen!

12. If things get too messy,
    we'd better call Jesse.

11. Punch the wrong hole,
    and you've elected Bob Dole!

10. A county full of crackers
    are big time Bush backers.

9. How 'bout those Gore daughters!
   They're more frisky than otters.

8. We should burn these Floridians,
   like Koresh Branch Davidians.

7. If Cheney's jaw goes slack,
   it's another heart attack.

6. That butterfly ballot
   could elect Gene Shalit.

5. This case ain't like OJ,
   but I've got rent to pay.

4. If it's a pregnant chad,
   you must abort the lad.

3. If the whole ain't punched,
   you've elected a dunce.

2. When voters have blue hair,
   choose the ballots with care.

   and the Number 1 Johnnie Cochran Comment on the Presidential Election...

1. That Secretary of State,
   even I wouldn't date!

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