Made in Italy
November 19, 1999
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Well, it seems that Vice President Al Gore still has a
copy of our Jewish Country Western Songs list from last
February (complete with runners up and honorable mentions) in
his pocket. We've gotten numerous reports of him using the
items from that list to spice up his speeches recently --
and today he was spotted reading a few of them on FOX TV.
Since it looks like someone in the Gore camp actually
reads Top5, we thought we'd offer up a few suggestions...
The Top 14 Speech Lines
Written by Us, Top5, for You, Al Gore
- "The main reason I invented the Internet was to distribute my previous invention: pornography!"
- "Just call me Al, the happy President-to-be who makes jokes and solves political problems."
- "I'm so glad to be here in Iowa, because it was here that I invented corn."
- "I have here in my pocket today's Top 5 List."
- "Together, let us cross that bridge into the 21st Century built by my worthy predecessor, and open up a can of whup-ass on the blues! Band, hit me one time!"
- "I gotta tell ya folks... I just got finished inventing the Internet, and boy are my arms tired!"
- "It's the economy, Chester!"
- "Some of my best ideas come to me when I'm driving around your beautiful city of Toledo, listening to the radio."
- "People of America, I KISS YOU!!!!!!!"
- "The world today is at a crossroads; down one path are problems like fleebellism, shwarnicles, and popoputputs; and down the other path are my speech writers who borrow material from the Internet without proofreading it."
- "Here's the thing that puzzles me: I have 4 kids, but Tipper and I have only had sex twice."
- "It's unconscionable that, in this age of high-tech communication, I can't put on a long, flowing gown, go out to the Rose Garden, run barefoot and writhe around in the grass, just because I feel pretty."
- "Four-score and seven years ago... Hey, that reminds me: Did I mention I invented Lincoln Logs?!"
and the Number 1 Speech Line Written by Us, Top5, for You, Al Gore...
- "You want excitement? Go to Bosnia.
You want a Chief Executive, come to Daddy."
Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!
Selected from 129 submissions from 49 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Mark Levine, Los Angeles, CA -- 1 (3rd #1) Email
- Errol Maturin, Boston, MA -- 2 Email
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 3 Email
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 4 Email / Hall of Famer
- Mark Schmidt, Santa Cruz, CA -- 5, Topic Email
- David G. Scott, Kansas City, MO -- 6 Email
- Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- 7, RU list name Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Geoff Brown, Ann Arbor, MI -- 8 Email / Website / Hall of Famer
- Ken Shinodo, Bend, OR -- 8
- Jeff Scherer, Brooklyn, NY -- 9 Email
- Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 10, 11 Email
- Barbara McMahon, Ann Arbor, MI -- 12 Email
- Kim Moser, New York, NY -- 13 Email
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 14 Email / Hall of Famer
- Gloria Monti, New York, NY -- Banner Tag Email
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- Runner Up list name Email / Website
- Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- Honorable Mention name Email / Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- Uriah Heep, London, England -- Ambience
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