November 21, 2001
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
There will be no lists Thursday and Friday
as we Americans celebrate Thanksgiving.
As for the rest of the world, they'll be
out celebrating, oh, Soccer Day or something.
The Top 16 Airport Security Pick-Up Lines
- "I'm afraid you're setting off a heightened alert in my pants, Ma'am."
- "The new FAA rules require me to remove your security breeches."
- "Honey, this is a Bodacious Ta-Ta-sniffing dog, and two barks means you're guilty."
- "Excuse me, Sir, is that a large organic cylinder I detect in your pants?"
- "Ever been stripped-searched by a minimum-wage flunky?"
- "And if I might be so bold, Ma'am, I don't think you'll be needing your seat cushion as a flotation device."
- "I'm going to have to inspect your package for spores."
- "Step over here, please. You've set off my babe detector and I'm afraid I'm going to have to scan you with my wand."
- "I'm afraid you can't pass this point, 'cause you da bomb, baby."
- "Sir, can I turn on your laptop?"
- "If you're finished checking my bag, there's one more pair of underwear to go through."
- "You know, if we were to make love now, we could have a child before we get to the front of the line!"
- "Good thing that's not a wood detector, 'cause you'd keep me here all night."
- "Has anyone unknown to you handled those funbags?"
- "What say we dump Gramma here out of the golf cart and go cruisin'?"
and the Number 1 Airport Security Pick-Up Line...
- "So do you have any condoms that *aren't* full of heroin?"
Join ClubTop5 to check out the
runner up submissions for this list.
Selected from 124 submissions from 48 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Dan Johnson, Champlin, MN -- 1 (7th #1) Website
- Daniel Weckerly, Limerick, PA -- 2
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3, 8 Email / Hall of Famer
- Charles Gulledge, Richardson, TX -- 4
- Paul Schindler, Orinda, CA -- 5 Email / Website
- Doug Finney, Houston, TX -- 6 Email
- Travis Ruetenik, Honolulu, HI -- 7
- Peter Bauer, Rochester, NY -- 9, 12
- Peg Warner, Exeter, NH -- 9 Email / Website
- Joseph Moore, Concord, CA -- 10 Email
- Joe DiPietro, Brooklyn, NY -- 11 Email / Website
- Ashley Deckard, Houston, TX -- 13 Email
- Michael Whitmire, Houston, TX -- 14, Honorable Mention list name
- Mitch Berg, Saint Paul, MN -- 14 Email / Website
- Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- 15 Email / Hall of Famer
- Martin Bredeck, Hybla Valley, VA -- 16
- Marsha Clodfelter, Corpus Christi, TX -- Topic Email / Hall of Famer
- AW2 John David Shelton, Arabian Sea, U.S. Navy -- Banner tag
- Slick Sharkey, Miami, FL -- RU list name Hall of Famer
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- List moderator
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Email / Hall of Famer
- The Tubes, San Francisco, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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