16. "Sure you'll get your figure back -- we'll just search 1985 where you left it."

15. "Keys are on the fridge, honey. I'll see you at the hospital at half-time."

14. "Sure, the doctor said you're eating for two - but he didn't mean two orcas."

13. "Honey -- Come show the guys your Brando impression!"

12. "Roseanne, what have you done with my wife?!"

11. "How come you're so much fatter than the other chicks in Lamaze?"

10. "Sweetheart, where'd you put that Victoria's Secret catalog?"

9. "What's the big deal? If you can handle *me* going in, surely you can handle a baby coming out."

8. "Hey, when you're finished pukin' in there, get me a beer, willya?"

7. "Why in the *world* would I want to rub your feet?"

6. "That's not a bun in the oven -- it's the whole friggin' bakery!"

5. "You know, now that you mention it, you *are* getting fat and unattractive."

4. "Oh, this is just great! Now, on top of everything else, child support."

3. "Yo, Fatass! You're blocking the TV!"

2. "No, I don't know where the remote is! Have you looked under your breasts?"

   and TopFive's Number 1 Fatal Thing to Say to Your Pregnant Wife...

1. "I know today's your due date, but Larry just got a 10 point buck and that's a reason to celebrate, too."

Join ClubTop5 and check out the Runners Up submissions for this list!