14. "Alright, George, you win the bet. Tipper, come over here and give the man some tongue."

13. "So, who's laughing *now* about me putting Alaska, the ozone layer, old-growth forests and the arctic ice cap in my Dead Pool, Mr. Smarty-Pants?"

12. "Hillary, you grab all the pens -- I'll get the towels and dishes."

11. "Hey Dad. I was thinking. Do I have to do it? 'Cause now I think I want to take guitar lessons and maybe start a band."

10. "...and for the Oval Office, what say we get rid of all those books and put in a Sony PlayStation and a red-velvet-topped pool table?"

9. "Only one ambassador to Colombia?!? Well, hell, let's appoint a few more!"

8. "That musta been some party. Last thing I remember, someone was daring me to run for president."

7. "...and there was this little girl, in a school, in a small state who asked me about..."
   "Mr. Gore? Mr. Gore?"
   "Yes?"
   "The election is over."

6. "Woo-hoo! Now I get a full-time designated driver!"

5. "I, George W. Bush, do solmeny... somenly... salmon -- dammit!" -- swear to uphold the Constipation of the United States."

4. "If a Mr. Satan calls, tell him I'm not in."

3. "Dickster, I'm pretty hammered, man. Don't go chest-clutchin' on me while I catch some Zs."

2. "Laura! I just passed my first presidential gas!"

   and the Number 1 Thing Overheard in Washington in the Next Few Weeks...

1. "So lemme get this straight: They named a White House bedroom after the guy who invented those little toy logs?"

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