16. Your friends seem kind of spooked by your meticulously detailed, anatomically correct Justice Scalia voodoo doll.

15. You can't stop punching your friend Chad in the face.

14. You've stopped stalking Angelina Jolie and you're seriously eyeballing that Bader Ginsberg hottie.

13. Whenever someone asks you at work if there's any coffee left, you roll your eyes and say that the amount of coffee left has been counted, recounted, and recounted again.

12. Al Gore himself calls to tell you it's time to concede.

11. You were able to explain the $2500 Tallahassee/Jacksonville/West Palm Beach/Miami vacation to the wife, but justifying the Ryder Truck is proving to be a little more difficult.

10. You've added "Election Follower: 11/7/00-12/16/00" to your resume.

9. Your rec room has been officially designated as a "No-Spin Zone."

8. Alt.Florida.Supreme.Court.Spokesman.Craig.Waters.Is.A.Hottie? Nothing but *your* postings.

7. You've completely lost track of which Buffy characters are mortal and which aren't.

6. Although "take out the trash" was the clear winner of your spouse's popular vote, you remain confident that your electors, Bud and Weiser, will vote to keep your butt in the Barcalounger for the duration of the college bowl season.

5. You pay extra to have the hooker put on additional make-up and answer to the name Katherine.

4. Chad casserole, fried chad, chad a la king, steamed chad, chad gumbo, pineapple chads...

3. Greta Van Susteren has leapfrogged Claudia Schiffer to take over the #1 spot on your "Hottie List."

2. That lump of carbon in the oven is your Thanksgiving turkey.

   and the Number 1 Sign You Spent Too Much Time Following The Election...

1. Nowadays, foreplay consists of carefully checking to make sure you're not about to accidentally punch the hole marked for Pat Buchanan.

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