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TopFive's Funny Valentines for 2003 Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 I treasure every Moment with you, And all the love we share. But really, what's a guy to do With a friggin' teddy bear? (John Gephart) I want to get lucky, So I'll send you some flowers And go to a chick flick. Just not The Hours. (Andrew Thomas) Violets are wimpy, Roses are thorny. Wear something skimpy 'Cause I sure am horny. (Dave Wesley) This is the last card To my dear Valentine, Since the DNA proved The kid isn't mine. (Andy Krakowski) I want you as my Valentine, I'll love you like no other. But if you think that I'm too old, How sexy is your mother? (Doug Finney) My husband, dear, You show no respect for me. For Valentine's, then, Here's a home-made vasectomy. (Dan Weckerly) I love to stare at your beauty. I admit to being a gawker. But please don't go And call the cops -- I swear I'm not a stalker! (Ann Bartow) The flowers are dead, The chocolates have melted. Hey, don't look at me -- He who smelt it, dealt it. (Allen Lindsey) © Copyright 1994-2008.  All rights reserved. TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White. Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.