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TopFive's Valentine's Cards for Ex-Valentines Page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 I thought of you, a thought so sweet, as my gorgeous new hunk was humping me, while parking in your precious Porsche. Honey, thank you so much for dumping me! (Mark Levine) You once said you loved me completely, from my breasts to the curve of my thigh. Sorry about that surprise on "Springer", but I thought you *knew* I was a guy! (Curtis Matthews) How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... um... none! (Michael Sheinbaum) This email contains an attachment for you! Please accept this virus, and a hearty fu@!# kj sl2D [%pm QKa1 4_rFG S @#f~::: a.3 $#RT (Wade Kwon) Roses are red, you are a toad. In two more seconds, this card will explode. (Dakota Shepard) Valentines day is made for lovers, and gestures that endure. So I *love* that I gave you genital warts, for which there is no cure. (Patrick Major) I read you poems, I rubbed your feet, gave bounty unalloyed. So tell me why, you freakin' wench, you bonked my best friend, Floyd!?!! (Yoram Puius) Look out your window on a moonlit lovers' eve, No, this window over here. Hi. It's me. Now wave, 'Cause stalking is a lonely, lonely business, and a little feedback goes a long way. (Chris Jones) © Copyright 1994-2008.  All rights reserved. TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White. Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.