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TopFive's Valentine's Cards for Ex-Valentines Page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 This year I know your thoughts and love will be for the man you'll wed. But we both know when your herpes flairs up, you'll think of me instead. (Ed Smith) Although we've drifted far apart, I'm not one to hold a grudge. I hope you loved each lucious bite of my box of Ex-Lax fudge. (Dan Weckerly) I made a wish upon a star, while you were still my spouse. My wish came true: I got your car, and live here in your house! (Larry Hollister) Roses are red, but, man, am I blue, 'cause you purchased those breasts after I dumped you. (Ed Brooksbank) You slept around, you broke my heart, our marriage was a failure. And all you left me was this itch around my genitalia. (Curtis Matthews) I once was in love with you. I thought you were the tops. But if you keep on stalking me, I'm going to call the cops. (Jeff Scherer) Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm not getting laid. Can I come back to you? (Peter Rogers) To honor the love that once we shared, tonight I'll not cavort. I'll send the hundred bucks I'll save, as this year's child support. (Ed Smith) © Copyright 1994-2008.  All rights reserved. TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White. Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.