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TopFive's Super-Seduction Valentine's Cards Page 1 | 2 | 3 We've a date tonight, oh, Valentine! I hope I can stay calm! 'Cause recently, I've only dated the lovely Mrs. Palm. (Dan Weckerly) Time to choose your Valentine! If I don't seem up to snuff, another case of Ballantine and I'll look good enough. (Jeff Scherer) All around the cobbler's bench, I'll chase you like a diesel. How can you tell when I'm ready for fun? Pop! goes my weasel! (Mark Weiss) Candy, flowers, diamond rings: all things I can't afford. I spent my cash on surgery to add inches to my sword! (Don Swain) Let's plan a trip to the falls of Niagra! Just me and you and my Viagra. (David Scott / Kevin Wickart) Roses are red I like Spaghetti-O's. Now what in the world rhymes with "fellatio?" (Mitch Patterson) You've been alone for two years now, and no one has been hittin'. So please be mine, Monica, and do me, like you did Clinton. (Jonathan Colan) I'd like to play a game with you -- I'm thinking Naked Twister. I'll bring the board and lots of wine. Could you please bring your sister? (Doug Finney) © Copyright 1994-2010.  All rights reserved. TopFive.com and The Top 5 List are owned by Chris White. Absolutely no publishing or reprinting without prior consent.