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dev> LIST is 380% full. Please remove some items.
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March 9, 2007
~~~ NOTE FROM CHRIS: ~~~
Here in the U.S., Daylight Savings Time begins
this Sunday -- a few weeks earlier this year.
The Top 16 Benefits to Having More Daylight
- Paparazzi lurking for elusive Britney photos will spend 10 percent less on flash batteries!
- Wrinkles caused by increased squinting spell insane profits for Botox purveyors.
- Gives enterprising vampire hunters a chance to fatten their averages.
- Truth be told, constellations are way over rated.
- More hours of tanning time to work on a darker shade for your Basal Cell Carcinoma collection.
- We're *all* safer since Paris Hilton won't hit the streets until an hour later.
- Get more use out of your Ron Jeremy novelty sundial.
- Spring breakers back a full three weeks earlier for their shifts at the meth lab.
- "Makes no difference to me -- it's always dark down here in my parents' basement." (Chris White only)
- Jared Leto mercifully stays out of the public eye that much longer.
- If we're going to be ready by November 2008, we need all the help we can get thawing out Hillary.
- Cannabis needs lots of sunlight. Just sayin'.
- Now there may be enough panel-charging sun time to take the ol' Begleymobile out for a joyride around the block!
- Expanded market opportunities for your new invention, Day-Vision Goggles.
- Takes less time to rock 'n' roll all night, leaving more time to party every day.
and the Number 1 Benefit to Having More Daylight...
- More coffin time for Ann Coulter.
Our ClubTop5 members get to see the
Runner Up and Honorable Mention items
for today's list, plus much MUCH more.
Join today!
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Selected from 99 submissions from 38 contributors.
Today's Top Five List authors were:
- Travis Ruetenik, Hiroshima, Japan -- 1 (11st #1)
- Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 2, 10 Hall of Famer
- Sandra Hull, Arlington, VA -- 3, 15 Website / Hall of Famer
- Mark D. Sabien, What Cheer, IA -- 4, Topic Website / Hall of Famer
- Meg Silvern, Tucson, AZ -- 5
- Scott Witmer, Hanover, PA -- 5
- John J. Brassil, Nashville, TN -- 6, 9
- Colleen Stelmaszek, Houston, TX -- 7
- Elliott Schiff, Allentown, PA -- 8, Banner Tag
- Jeff Johnson, Los Altos, CA -- 8
- Andy Krakowski, Alexandria, VA -- 8
- Richard Skora, Columbus, OH -- 11
- Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- 12
- David Zechiel, Lake Forest, CA -- 13
- Michael Cunningham, Woodridge, IL -- 14
- Mary Ann McDonald, Sacramento, CA -- 16
- Chris White, Los Angeles, CA -- List owner/editor Hall of Famer
- Crosby, Stills and Nash, Laurel Canyon, CA -- Ambience (explanation)
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